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The Story of My Awakening (Part 8) - Our marriage was suffering

awakening story Nov 22, 2021
In the last part of this series, I shared my awakening of vaccines...
 
Now I will be sharing with you my struggles in my marriage and the huge shift that propelled my family out of the destructive-divorce-is-imminent phase to I think we have a chance phase. 
 
A whole year had gone by after the serendipitous dinner with my dear friend Kellie that led to the creation of the Hippie Moms Community on Facebook. 
 
You can still join in if you aren’t already there!
 
I finally felt connected to a group of women where I could share my heart and ask for advice when I needed it.
 
I would post and engage daily. 
 
Eventually, we changed the names to Hippie Moms as we agreed that the “aren’t crazy” was defensive! Haha!
 
We were going to own being Hippie Moms!
 
I was going to own this opportunity and somehow create a space where women like me could go and feel like they were not alone.
 
It became my...
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The Story of My Awakening (Part 6) - I was SO lonely

awakening story Nov 22, 2021
Hey! Thanks for continuing on this journey with me!
 
You see when I started on this journey, I was so lonely.
 
I was trying SO hard to make all these lifestyle changes and fullfilling all the roles in my life.
 
As I continued to research and spend countless hours learning how to make my home and life safer for my family, I began to uncover the depths of my own conditioning.
 
Even though I continued to bear the responsibility of my ignorance, it was hard to hide my anger and frustration.
 
I just felt duped.
 
When all I wanted was happy and healthy children and the world I lived in was constantly undermining my efforts to create this.
 
After the low moment I shared with you last week, I knew things had to shift.
 
I was not okay.
 
I couldn’t bear to live like this anymore.
 
I was afraid that I would hurt one of my kids or even hurt myself.
I was just so tired and I felt alone on this journey.
 
My husband was...
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The Story of My Awakening (Part 5) - My Breaking Point

awakening story Nov 22, 2021
Now I share with you the last part of this series, my depth of motherhood.
 
It was a very shameful and vulnerable moment. 
 
I had my second son, Ryder, in December of 2013.
 
Of course, it changed the dynamic of our family of 3 and it was a welcome change.
 
I had made some major shifts in the way we ate and lived and I felt that we were all getting healthier. 
 
My pregnancy was much easier than my first and I was much more confident in early motherhood. 
 
I didn’t frequent the google dark hole as often :) 
 
Being a mom, having a new baby, working, and keeping everyone alive were a lot of stress. I was always overwhelmed.
 
At this time, I just assumed that this was how motherhood was supposed to be.
 
I trusted myself and my ability to be a mom and this my friends was a game-changer.
 
I felt as if I had this mom-thing down and was enjoying being at home with my kids… well at least in the...
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The Story of My Awakening (Part 4) - It Was Only a Plastic Teething Ring

story Nov 22, 2021
HI again :)
 
So the reason I am here with your right now, began when my eldest was 6 months old.
 
It was a beautiful March afternoon in AZ. I opened up all the windows in our home and a cool breeze swept through the house.
 
I had gotten into more of a rhythm in motherhood. 
 
I was still sleepless and grumpy. Tired and overwhelmed, yet I still managed to find small moments that brought joy.
 
I loved being a mom and hated it.
 
I jokingly say often that if people actually talked about how parenthood is, many of us would never procreate.
 
Motherhood offers us the entire gamut of human emotions, sometimes all in just one minute!
 
As I shared yesterday, my firstborn, Ryland, had not been an easy baby.
 
I was full-on attachment parenting (my gut led me there).
I was a human pacifier, a bouncing chair with a boob, and I RARELY had even one moment to myself (I really like my alone time).
 
Do you?
 
I sat Ryland down on the...
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The Story of My Awakening (Part 3) - You Should Stop Breastfeeding

awakening story Nov 22, 2021
Hey there :) 
 
I gave birth to my son in September 2011. 
 
I ended up having a C-section as he was breached and it was a traumatic birthing experience (more on that another time).
 
He was not a happy baby. He was a miserable baby.
 
He was constantly crying, gagging, spitting up, and seemed to always be in pain.
 
It was hell as a brand new mom. 
 
This experience did not mirror the hypothetical early motherhood experience I dreamed up before he was born.
 
I went to the pediatrician to tell him all about the excruciating pain my son was having.
 
He examined him and said, “Well I don’t see anything wrong, it could just be acid reflux and I think he could be allergic to something in your milk.”
 
Then he continued to suggest that I stop breastfeeding and find a formula to try.
 
He wrote me a prescription for some acid reflux medicine and walked out of the room. That was the last time I ever saw...
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