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Balance, The Greatest Illusion in Motherhood

deep thoughts healing shift Jan 14, 2021

There is this word. A word that represents a state of being that promises us that if we achieve it, then we will finally embody the essence of perfection in life. 

The state of existence where all is aligned and only in this place will evoke the feeling of centeredness and as if we have finally reached our destination. 

Everyday we strive for this state, and maybe some of us get a glimpse or moment of it, we pursue this never-ending cycle. Life happens and we are thus set back into striving for it all again. 

This state, this word... BALANCE. 

Motherhood is not about balance. So many of us mothers are striving for this eluding state of life! We may in one moment feel balance, like we have it all together, and all is in it's place, and then something, life,  happens and boom, just like that we are set back and striving again. 

I hear SO many women and mothers use this word. 

"I just need to create more balance." 

"Once ____ happens, I'll feel more balanced." 

"When I start _____ then my life will be balanced." 

I actually used this word for so long and was addicted to this idea that this state was achievable and worthy of my constant struggle and striving for. 

By definition, balance is the state where things exist in equal amounts or are of equal importance. 

All things line up.
Stabilized.
Steady.
Even.
A state of equilibrium. 

Unfortunately my friends, it's a state of illusionary control.

You are believing that you have control over life.

We are trying to make life fit into this "balance box" so that we can finally feel good, happy, and in control, but we all know that life will never fit into our box. 

Yet, the constant yearning to achieve this state guarantees us that we will never achieve it.

It's like trying to find the way to happiness, when in reality happiness is the way. 

As a mother of two young boys, an start-up business owner and entrepreneur, and the constant work at keeping myself and my family healthy, I can tell you that there is no such thing as balance.

Sorry.

Maybe you came to read this blog post to learn about how to achieve balance and finally fulfilling the longing to control the constant flow of life's unfolding. 

Unfortunately you won't find that here. It does not exist. 

Do not fret, what I offer you is a new perspective and an opportunity to free yourself from the struggling, striving, and suffering for balance. 

I have discovered in my own constant and long journey to achieving this unachievable state, WHAT can actually be achieved and replaced in lieu of balance. 

Here are the first 4 steps to stop the "balance" illusion and build a new lens to look through life with: 

1. Awareness.

Awareness is always the beginning of change. When we become aware of the moments when we are trying to fit life into our box or control all happenings around us, we can see our struggle and bring it to light. Just notice how much you try to change things, people, circumstances, and experiences so that they reflect what you believe balance to look like. 

Recognizing that life is not happening to us, but for us, will shift the lens we choose to look through at this brilliant and hugely opportunistic life for us. You will begin to see life as it is. As a constant reminder that we are the creators of our reality and in each and every moment, we have a choice to resist or accept. 

2. Acceptance. 

Once we notice and become aware of where we are fighting life and trying to manipulate it to be how we want it to be, we can see it for what it is. Beauty. Struggle. Pain. Play. Fun. Hurt. Hard. Sad. Happy. Scared. Love. 

ALL of it exists in life. The good, the bad, the ugly. We must accept that life is the whole of human emotions and experiences. When we stop running away from life and begin to accept the constant flow and change, we become the flow and change and nothing can control our happiness or state of being we decide to be... in this very moment. 

3. Surrender. 

To live in the flow and truly be a partner with life and creation, we must surrender to it. Clearing away the filters we have created over our lives and choosing to see it as is. Right now. In this moment. 

Instead of resisting, lean into it.

Feel it.

Heal it. 

This creates an infinite space in our lives for magic to happen. Just be the witness. 

4. Consistency. 

The only form of control I have found in my life is being consistent. Consistent in this work of living outside of illusion. Consistently taking care of my mental, emotional, and physical health.

The only things we can control are: 

  • the thoughts we think
  • the actions we take
  • the words we say
  • the food we eat 
  • the stress we manage or not
  • the movement we make or not 

Once we own who we are in the world we live in, and become consistent in choosing to take care of all the above, only then can we show up in world as the best version of us.

Life will never be balanced, however, the perspective and actions we take can in fact be balanced within life. 

Life unfolds for us. It does not happen to us.

We have an incredible opportunity to play in life! We must stop waiting until this or that happens and THEN we can be happy for feel balanced. 

We can be now. In all of it. All of life is a continuous offering for our expansion. 

Are you ready to expand? 

In all the work that I teach and create, it's sole focus is expansion. Expanding our minds, perspectives, and our lives is what we are here for. 

If you are ready to expand and create consistent habits that help you become the optimal version of you, I invite you to join me in my 14 Day Gut Healing Cleanse. It's a full lifestyle guide and I am here to help you along the way. 

Thanks for stopping by :) 

I love you, 

Becky Wells
NTP
Clean Living Advocate & Educator
www.thehippiemoms.com 

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